


Collateral Damage

by UisceOneLove



Series: The Super Store AU No One Asked For [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Lovesick Luther, M/M, No one can get a break when Klaus is involved, Poor Klaus, Poor Vanya, Vanya just wants to work and live her life, Vanya's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UisceOneLove/pseuds/UisceOneLove
Summary: All Vanya wants is to get through her day.Klaus makes that hard, even if he doesn't mean to.





	1. Things Can't Be Unseen

Vanya preferred to keep to herself.  With the background she had, it was hard to push out of her bubble without needing to get into her medication.

Sales associate meant that she only dealt with customers when they outright came up to her for a question. She could take care of inventory in peace for the most part.

Today she was doing just that, working on the extensive and color coordinated aisles of the jewelry section, when after a good ten minutes she noticed that there’d been a large gathering at the front of the store.

“Is something going on up front?” she asked through her earpiece. When she didn’t get an immediate response, not even from _Luther_ , Vanya tried again. “Klaus, do you need back up at the register?”

Still, there was no response. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if it was only Klaus who wasn’t responding since he had a tendency to leave his earpiece out. But Luther loved to be right on it when something needed to be done.  Maybe he was on a call with corporate?

Vanya abandoned her cart to investigate for herself.

As she got closer, things came into place fairly quickly.

Luther was already up there, just not doing anything more than standing away from the crowd with a lovestruck look that made him look like an actual human being.

The crowd didn’t look angry. Were those…phones? Why did everyone have their phones out. Vanya had to carefully edge around the customers just to be able to get on the other side of the registers and see—

Is that Allison Fischer?

There is most certainly a very beautiful woman chatting with Klaus that looks like Allison Fischer. Glowing almond skin and long bouncy blonde curls that cascaded over one side of her head. Vanya had seen a few of her films, thought that there was a real gift there. Something genuine.

But why would she be here of all places?

“Allison,” Klaus tired, for what Vanya was going to assume by the look on his face was not the first time, but the actress didn’t appear ready to give him the room.

“You should have seen Ben’s face when Claire called him her Uncle Benny Bear, it was the cutest thing.”

“Yeah, sure, I bet it was,” Klaus nodded, “But—”

“The entire plane ride she was asking about you,” Allison went on, “she really wants you to take her shopping. I’d be offended that she thinks you have better taste but we both know you already got that from me.”

Klaus and Ben knew Allison? From their files and the slew of information Klaus loved to share, she knew that they were brothers. _Fischer_. It wasn’t a coincidence after all.

“When there’s a closet full of form-fitting items and flowy skirts, you take from it,” Klaus brushed off. Vanya wasn’t sure he if he was using it as a defense or just as a statement.

“And I am the first person to tell people you’re the master at eye make up. And that the leather _does_ look better on you.”

“I appreciate that within my very soul. It took a lot of practice to pull off the Pete Wentz-Freddy Mercury Collab. Now Allison--”

“Excuse me, can I get a picture with you?”

Allison turned to the definitely sixteen-year-old ebony fan with a delighted grin. “Oh, of course.”

Klaus looked ready to test out the merits of beating his head in against the counter again. Five liked to show her the videos. It was a massive collection. More so than the ones of Klaus wrecking store products in his dancing zones.

This was also the perfect time for Vanya to get in and do what Luther shockingly wasn’t.

“All right, everyone, if you aren’t here to buy something then you will need to go,” Vanya called out. It was uncomfortable to have so many people turn their eyes on her but this someone needed to bring some order back if Luther was going to only stand there.

It took a few times of repeating before people sullenly started to leave or fix their place in the register line. Allison even looked to finally be chagrined.

Klaus, on the other hand, looked far too jovial compared to before.

“Vanya! Perfect!”

“What—”

“Yes!” Klaus took Vanya by the shoulders and led her around to Allison. “Allison, Vanya. Two great single ladies who get to decide who puts a ring on it. Now, I love you, dear sister of mine. Truly do. So inspired. But if you don’t go now I will kill somebody, most likely myself, using the scanner as a bludgeoning weapon. Take Vanya and do a makeover or something.”

“Hold on—” Vanya started.

“No no, he’s so right,” Allison cut in with a nod, sharp eyes looking her over in a way Vanya would like no to not have happen at all, “I know just the thing.”

Vanya could guess in that moment as Allison dragged her past a broken Luther that they’d both very much like to switch places.

For the first time, there was something she was going to hold against Klaus for a while.

* * *

 

Klaus was still on the hook for the makeover incident. It didn’t matter that Allison was actually a nice person who gave her some advice that Vanya could find useful should someone ever ask her out on a date. Or that the pictures of Claire were sweet.

Vanya didn’t like to be a scapegoat. Too much of that happened already when her father was still alive.

For four and a half hours straight Vanya turned her back on his pouting face and ignored all his apologies through the radio. It was satisfying having Diego be the one to tell Klaus to shut it.

It wasn’t until she was pushing her plastic-filled cart to the back for emptying out that Vanya found herself cornered by Klaus.

“You’re supposed to be at the register.”

“There’s no one even here,” Klaus dismissed.

“You wouldn’t really know that since you aren’t up there to make sure.”

“I’ll go if you accept my apology.”

Vanya stared at Klaus, waiting. He stared right back. “I haven’t heard a real one yet.”

Klaus groaned. “I’m sorry!”

“That didn’t feel like a real apology.”

“Fine. I get it. You want fair to be fair.”

“Klaus,” Vanya sighed, shaking her head. She should have let him have the first apology and this could have been avoided.

“I promise next time I will not sick my sister on you,” Klaus vowed, holding up his hand with two fingers crossed. “Scout’s honor.”

“You were never in boy scouts.”

“But I would have rocked the uniform, am I right?” he grinned. “Might have been a little bit of fun, too.”

“Can we pretend that was your official ‘sorry’ and move on?” Vanya tried.

“All for it, Van. You’re great.” Klaus pecked her cheek and scurried off. That wasn’t even the strangest behavior she could attribute to him.

Maybe Klaus was actually clever and doing this behavior was his greatest trick.

It was something to consider while she spent the last thirty minutes of her shift double-checking the aisles for any messes or misplaced supplies.

That could be why Five looks close to committing Klaus’ murder nine times out of ten before Diego has to intervene. Vanya would find herself impressed if it was the case. She was satisfied with leaving it as what made Klaus the man he showed.

Thirty minutes could not go by quickly enough, but Vanya was able to mentally organize the lessons scheduled for tomorrow in the process. Working in a craft store really aimed at helping the starving musician trope along so the least that could be done until her break (or book is finished being written) is leave her free days to get extra cash by giving people violin lessons.

Vanya made sure the store was clear of any customers before she locked the automatic doors. Klaus was already missing so she was going to chalk it up to him having raced back to the break room as soon as the final shopper was outside. It was fine, she could handle the registers herself. Diego should still be in the office. So she gathered up each till drawer and stacked them in a cart, took care of the trash from under all four registers, then pushed it all towards the back.

First, the bags of trash went with the rest, then  Vanya shut off the monitors of the framing counter, and then she  headed for the back office. 

“Hey, Diego,  is Klaus already with you?” Vanya asked into the radio as she went.

It took an odd minute of silence before Diego answered, and when he did, he sounded even odder. “Y-yeah,” he rasped, and _again,_  it was odd to hear the man stutter. In fact, Vanya only ever heard it when Luther had him riled up to the very limit. “Is the store closed up?”

“Doors are locked and I’ve got the money,” Vanya confirmed, “I’ll see you guys in a second.”

“Vanya—”

Vanya opened the office door to a sight that immediately sent her slamming it shut with an “Oh God!”

She was not looking forward to telling her therapist about this.

It was going to take some extreme work for her to forget how Klaus looks on his knees and the face Diego is capable of making when he’s heavily stimulated.

Was this why people enjoyed having enough alcohol to black out?

Vanya was halfway to the restrooms for the purging of her lunch when she heard racing footsteps behind her.

“Vanya, I am so sorry!” Diego scrambled to his stop in front of her. It’s too bad that she can’t fool herself into thinking that short sprint was why her assistant manager’s face is so flushed.

“Despite the fact we all know you and Klaus are dating, you are the last person I would have expected to do that in your place of employment.”

“I never imagined myself to be, either,” he grimaced.

“A disturbed part of me wants to know where else you two have defiled here but then I know I wouldn’t ever come back.” Vanya needed the crappy paycheck as it was, and there were days she could convince herself that she liked working here.

Diego winced and paled, and she was guessing that he was grateful she didn’t truly ask for the list. Anyone who wasn’t Klaus would be grateful.

“Just please don’t tell anyone,” he asked.

“I won’t. Klaus might be another story.”

Diego groaned. “I know.”

“Next time give me some kind of warning,” she requested with a shudder.

“I will.”

“And I will need a day off to recover.”

“I’ll cover the pay you miss,” Diego promised.

“I would normally protest against that, but in this case, I’ll take it as compensation.”

Vanya handed over her walkie talkie.

“The cash is still over there. I’m clocking out at the break room computer.”

“I don’t blame you,” Diego nodded. Guilt was not a good look on him but she was fine with it being there until she erases these new memories.

She would also suggest getting some kind of electric collar or spray bottle to stop Klaus from getting frisky but Vanya was smart enough to know he’d like that kind of thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a chunk of this already finished around the same time I posted the first half, but then I got sidetracked like usual and I fell out of my Writing Zone. Better late than never, at least!

There was a surprising amount of blushing that Vanya started catching from Klaus for a good month.

Vanya was used to the Klaus who didn’t show any qualms or regrets for what he did/said. So for him to feel so badly for two consecutive things and actually make attempts to rectify them? It made her feel like she was missing something.

“Klaus is great at pretending he isn’t bothered by the consequences,” Ben had told her when she brought it up during their next shift together, “but when he cares for someone or it’s a person who he feels doesn’t deserve what he’s done? He does try to do something about it if he can.”

Vanya figured that’s why things started showing up in her locker.

Tickets to the next Allison Fischer film, flyers for some concerts at the opera house that featured Lindsey Stirling, a small batch of Mrs. Field’s cookies with a card showing a cuddly bear and a note of _sorry you saw the blowie, you and Leonard can scar me back? xx_

It wasn’t that Vanya was mad. Only deeply scarred mentally.

Klaus was too good at getting into their heads whether or not it’s intentional.

Vanya was keeping away from any room they had that required doors that locked or couldn’t be seen through. She wasn’t walking in on that horror show ever again.

That did leave Vanya’s only option during her break being that stock room.

Still, she pushed in one of the doors when she didn’t see anyone initially through the small window and let it flap closed behind her.

With a sigh of relief, Vanya took a seat on a short stack of boxes out of the way.

“Hi, Vanya.”

Vanya almost launched off the boxes. She looked behind a shark tank full of boxes for the scrapbooking department to find Five sitting in an empty one, that mannequin he called Delores in his arms.

“Oh, hey Five,” she returned slowly.

“I assume you’re here for the same reason I am,” the young boy went on, stroking the mannequin’s smooth uncovered head with what Vanya was concernedly thinking of as affection.

“Yeah,” Vanya nodded. It wasn’t hard to understand that guess.

Though if this was where Five frequented because of Diego and Klaus then maybe there needed to be a few words with the kid’s dad. And what did Five do when Klaus was at their house? Really, what was it like to work with your dad and then also have to work with the boyfriend?

Only one of those are things that Vanya can attest to from her childhood.

“How’s…Delores? Did I interrupt you two?” Vanya asked, feeling a new level of awkward. What else was she supposed to say? For a thirteen-year-old, this kid had a strange thing about this mannequin and she wasn’t going to be the asshole who asks if he needs some therapy for it.

Five gave Vanya a polite smile. “We were just talking.” His smile quickly turned into a scowl. “Klaus put her in an atrocious neon green t-shirt. She needed my help changing into something of actual taste.”

Vanya could see that; Delores was in a flowy white blouse with red polka-dots. It was nice. Anything was better than neon green. This was looking like something she could see on someone like Allison Fischer. Maybe that’s where the boy got it from?

“Maybe you should ask Diego about letting you be the one to pick things out for her so that doesn’t happen again.”

That earned her a scoff. “My father may act professional towards Klaus around here most of the time but even he is incapable of stopping Klaus from doing what he really wants.”

“I know Klaus doesn’t always act like he cares about anyone else, but I think he might surprise you and Diego if he knew Delores is a bigger, serious matter.”

It was what she could see clearly from his attempts to apologize to her lately and the things Ben had said to her. She just wasn’t ready to give Klaus the official Notice of Forgiveness yet.

“Right,” Five snorted, “I’ll consider it.”

Vanya won’t hold her breath.

Five rose from his place, the mannequin cradled protectively in his arms, and he moved to sit next to her. Vanya pulled out her bag of sliced apples from her vest pocket and held it out.  “Ben’s reading your manuscript.”

For all of her awareness that Five had a keen eye of what goes on around him, she still managed to be surprised that he bothered to notice that. “As it comes,” she nodded.

Five bit into an apple slice with a crisp snap.

“He gives you notes.”

“He does.”

“I like to read.”

Vanya’s lips twitched. She gave him a small smile. “I know. I’m impressed at the books you leave in the break room.”

“I like to be intellectually stimulated,” the boy shrugged.

“That’s good. I did a lot of reading too. Still do.” When she wasn’t busy with her violin or the lessons she was giving.

They fell into a mutual quiet as they ate, the only sounds around them coming from their bites or the customers on the other side of the doors.

“I could give you some notes, too.”

Vanya side-eyed the boy, keeping her new flush of surprise to herself. Five was picking at the wrinkles of Dolores’ blouse. Not looking at her. She wasn’t used to a nervous Five.

“If you wanted a second opinion,” he continued.

“Are you sure it’d be something you’re into?” Vanya checked. “Do you know what it’s about?”

“I asked Benjamin. The concept is interesting, unique even.” Five pulled a handkerchief from his pants pocket to wipe off his fingers. “I like science-fiction. Even if there are so many flaws. I’m kept entertained.”

Ben’s critiques and comments were welcome. He was kind while still being honest. Vanya knew that getting those from Five would be a lot more on the critical side. But also honest. And while Vanya didn’t think her book would ever amount to much, she never wanted it to be something weak or awful.

“Okay,” she nodded after a moment. “I can bring you a copy tomorrow. Or give it to Diego for you if you don’t have a shift.”

“I’ll get you my notes as promptly as I can,” Five assured. He gave her what she assumed was this kid’s version of a smile – just the most minute upward slant of his lips – and then he walked out.

Okay. That wasn’t what Vanya expected today.

It did give her something else to concentrate on during the rest of her shift instead of Klaus’ wet kitten look whenever she passed by the register.

* * *

What was she doing here? 

Normally, Vanya spent her free weekends in the comfort of her small apartment where she’d either read a book, anxiously type out the next pages of her own manuscript, or lose herself in the haunting notes of her violin.

So, again, _why was she here?_ At a crowded karaoke bar with colleagues?

“I told Klaus that you wouldn’t be into this,” Ben insisted again as he sat down next to her. He had a glass of some Asian beet, Sapporo or Tsingtao or something, and placed a Moscow Mule in front of her, “but he said that you’d ‘surely forgive him after this’. I’m sorry ahead of time.”

Vanya cradled her glass and pulled it closer. “It’s fine, Ben.”

“You can leave. It’s totally fine. I’ll tell him you had an emergency, or Leonard called you.”

“Really, I’m okay. He’s got me here so I should at least see what he thinks will—”

“Next up to the mic, ladies and gentlemen, is Luther Aldrin. Everyone, give him a Karaoke-Dokey welcome!” 

Vanya stopped. Stared. Watched. As her boss in all his imposing glory hopped up the steps to the stage and gave the microphone a poor death grip.

“Holy shit,” Ben gaped.

Klaus dropped into the seat on Vanya’s other side with a satisfied grin. “This’ll be good,” he said cheerily, taking a big gulp of his martini.

“What did you do?” Ben demanded, looking full of regret.

Klaus gasped, “Benny Boo, I did nothing! I only mentioned that our dearest sister might be coming tonight—“

“No, Klaus, you _didn’t_ —”

“And might have _also mentioned_ that she was a sucker for a good Tiffany cover—”

“We’re so fired,” Ben declared miserably before he started downing his beer.

Vanya looked around them for any sign of the celebrity. No one was ambushing in any portion of the bar. No screams or iPhones being pulled out. If Klaus did this as some joke then it was a cruel one—

Oh. There. At the bar.

If you weren’t looking with purpose like Vanya was, you’d surely miss her. Allison Fischer was in a trench coat and auburn wig that should have been a dead giveaway. She was holding a glass of wine, eyes trained on the stage.

The beginning notes of “I Think We’re Alone Now” played up around them on the stereo system.

 

_“I think we’re alone now_

_There doesn’t seem to be anyone around”_

 

“You’re trying to pair them up?” Vanya asked Klaus, turning around in her seat. Luther’s off-key voice made her cringe. She won’t be listening to this song again for a while.

Klaus shrugged. “I’m merely helping two lonely people get together.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “We are beyond fired if this backfires on you, asshole.”

“It won’t.”

 

_“Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hands”_

Klaus might have been the only one holding up their phone to record Luther. 

“You’re not going to post this, are you?” Vanya did not need to show up to work on Monday with Luther on a mortified rampage.

“I’ve been tempted since making this plan,” Klaus answered, “but Diego’s stuck babysitting the Junior, so I don’t want him missing the show. He was very excited to hear about it.”

Vanya sat back, sipping at her drink. This was either ingeniously evil, or shockingly considerate. What she still didn’t get was why she was there in the first place.

 

_“The beating of our hearts is the only sound”_

 

“Klaus,” she started, dismayed with the next note out of Luther’s mouth, “what part of this is supposed to make things up to me?" 

Her co-worker looked away from the stage to her, a gleam in his eyes that was the only hint this time that he still felt guilty. Better than that kitten look.

“You’re always home alone. I wanted to liven up your night.”

_I wanted to give you something better to remember. I want you to know you’re not alone. We’re friends. You have us. Don’t hate me. Be happy._

There were a lot of things Vanya could hear. Mostly, it all said that Klaus did care what she thought of him and how much he didn’t want her to spend her time away being angry with him.

Vanya smiled into the rim of her drink.  “You’re forgiven Klaus.”

“Oh thank god,” Klaus slumped with relief, with the usual touch of theatrics to it, and patted her hand. “You’re a goddess yourself, Vanya.”

Vanya didn’t say much after that.

She clapped for her blushing manager when the song ended their torture and saw the hope on his face when he caught sight of Allison. She saw the way they stayed apart from everyone else at the bar talking. Even stayed to listen to Klaus and Ben tag team on some song by Halsey.

At the end of the night, Vanya got to go home and text with Leonard for a half hour before she went to bed, for one of the first times feeling genuinely happy about the idea of working on Monday.


End file.
